Are you ready for this?

I already have something that tells me when something is cold.

Okay, is everyone tired of this Coors Light can that tells you when beer is cold thing? You know the commercial, (just one of the many) where the man comes home and there is are rose petals on the floor, candles lit in a trail to the bedroom, and his wife standing against the wall in something she just got from Victoria’s Secret? And rather than running to her, he runs to the fridge, and gets excited over his beer which has mountains that turn blue and tell him his beer is cold.

Somehow the geniuses at Coors believe we need a can to tell us when the beer is cold.
And… that the blue mountain-cold beer thing is better than sex.

We need a cure for the common cold. We need a cure for cancer. We need to convert to non-polluting power sources. But somehow, someway — there are scientists, and engineers who’ve devoted their careers to discovering the printing ink that changes color with the temperature. Well, I am sure the world will be proud when your obituary is written. It will say: Inventor of the color changing mountains on a beer can dies.

Unwittingly, these modern trailblazers have also invented a technology which tell you when urine gets cold. Because when the mountains turn blue, you know what’s inside is cold, and Coors Light tastes like piss. Ergo…

At the very least, these scientists and engineers must be exciting at parties. Someone can ask: “So what do you do?” and he/she can respond: “I work at Coors and I discovered how to tell when a beer is cold.” And the inquirer will respond: “Buddy, I discovered how to do that when I started drinking, you touch the damn thing.”